TMNT - Shattered Mind - Part 11 – (Month 5)
(TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, April is 23 as the turtles are 20)
Warning (Rated: PG13) Disturbing Content, Foul Language.
Please Don’t Read if you don’t like this stuff.
April’s heart beat out of control as she darted onward, they wouldn’t stop chasing her no matter what path she took, or how fast she ran, nothing she did threw the men with black suits off her scent.
What do they want from her?
(What do I do! I can’t keep this up forever…)
The heavy snow fell down clocking the distance making visibility poor as she took her chances continuing on, while the echoing of foot steps of boots antagonized her, forcing her to quicken her step, for they were not to far behind.
(Damn damn damn… I can’t let them get me!)
Rushing forward with all the strength she could summon to her leg muscles that had started to tighten with sharpening pain shooting up her body, she made a right turn down an alleyway.
Hoping it would lead to a solution to her predicament, or something that she could throw her hunters off her tracks, hell she didn’t care if the way out of this was through a man hole, anything would do.
Despite the white horizon April came to some relief as she could make out a door far in the distance that looked quite promising, if it was unlocked she might find shelter to fool the men that were after her.
(A door, please be unlocked, please be unlocked…Damn it I can’t breathe…)
Gasping for air she reached towards the door handle, with luck it was indeed unlocked as she turned it, venturing in quickly.
She didn’t bother taking any caution to her actions, she was to much in a panic to care either way.
Without a second thought, April shut the door behind her hoping that the men didn’t see her enter and that this door did have a lock, so she could at least slow them down in case they did notice where she went.
(…Am I finally safe? What if they notice me… where are they? Where are you guys…I don’t want to be alone anymore… No I have to stay focus, I have to make sure those men don’t get me!)
Scrambling with the door handle, seeing if there was a way to lock it, to April dismay she came to the realization that there were no locks of any sorts on the door.
April’s heart sank; her so called luck just ran out.
Suddenly an odd sound came somewhere behind her, she froze in fright, gathering some courage she reluctantly turned around to see what would make such a sound, was she really alone?
A cloud of confusion hung over her head.
(What the heck is this?)
April found herself in a dim lighted black room covered with standing mirrors, feeling awkward she debated if she should leave, the place had a eerie sense to it, something about it rattled her soul greatly.
Sweat dripped down her face, she didn’t want to stay in this room more then she had too, making the decision it was best that she left and took her chances with the men that were after her, when she went for the door to her horror, it was gone.
(What’s going on? I swore there was a door there a second ago, this isn’t possible…)
Lost April stared at the area the door was just at, how could a door just vanish in thin air?
There was no way a door could do that, thinking that the poor lighted room was playing tricks on her, April placed her hand on the wall, it was indeed just that, a wall.
The surface was hard, there was nothing indicating that this was some trick of the mind and for certain she knew this is where she had entered from.
Then the sudden realization hit her as terror squeezed her hard, was she losing her mind?
(This couldn’t be happening, this is impossible…)
In an act off desperation, April panicked feeling the wall fully, trying to find the handle, find anything that would explain this bizarre situation, yet to her dismay there wasn’t anything there…
(Where is it…where is it…DAMN IT…This can’t be happening no no no!)
Frustrated, April slammed her palms onto the wall as a rush of tears dripped down onto her green skin, glistening it, she was truly trapped.
(Why do I keep finding myself alone… I don’t want to be alone anymore. How is it that everything always has to fall apart… Raph is gone, Leo is always training ignoring everything around, Mikey is becoming distant as his depression is consuming him… Then Donnie…)
All of her emotions overwhelmed her within seconds, as it flooded into her like a tidal wave that would not die down.
Pressing her forehead onto the wall, April legs suddenly gave out making her fall to her knees while tears rained down her face with no end.
(Why…I don’t want to be alone…)
Everything was falling apart, her life was being turn upside down, April desperately held her sides attempting to bring herself some comfort, she felt so lost, alone, she hated all of this…
Even when Donnie was still sick, he was getting better, the brothers were together, they were happy even with the rough patches they had to face… Now it was shattered, everything was broken, there seemed to be nothing left now…
“This is my fault… it’s always my fault, my father dies because of me, I destroy any hope Donnie had to recover… Now my actions have torn apart three brothers that only had each other … Why do I keep fucking up… I should have died that day and the next, even the last, fate keeps bring me back to it and I keep surviving, for what?” April sobbed holding herself tighter, as she started breaking down.
The sound that she heard before once again came echoing behind her breaking her train of thought, turning around she only saw the mirrors, with a sigh wiping her tears she got back to her feet.
(If I am here, wherever here is, I should see what is making that sound at least, what else do I have to do?)
The room’s atmosphere didn’t change the slightest as she reached the center of the room of mirrors, looking around none of the mirrors stood out, they look all the same.
The mirrors where one of those tall standing mirrors with a old wooden frame that had a vintage style to it, why a black painted room full of mirrors, what was the significant of it?
(Who would put so many mirrors in a dark room like this, there aren’t even any lamps, or ceiling lights, unless you have night vision, it’s really pointless.)
Not far from her, in the corner of her eye one particular mirror caught her attention, looking it over it was ordinary like the rest, yet a odd fearsome energy dwelt inside it.
April could feel it pouring out of it, sickening, poisonous, but she saw nothing, just felt it deep inside herself.
Something in the back of her head screamed at her, warning her, she got the sensation if she touched the mirror something bad would happen.
Not taking any chances she backed away slowly, then the sound came again, this time it wasn’t behind, yet all around her, for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.
Then the sound became familiar as she focused on its particular tone, franticly she looked about, realizing all the mirrors were cracking, the sound was something breaking, what did this mean?
As quickly as the sound started, April had no time to react as the mirrors burst in millions of fragments projecting towards her, desperately to protect herself she huddle down covering her head and face with her arms.
(What’s going on now!!)
The impact was so forceful she could hear the glass beat against her shell, her arms stung with sharp pain.
Huddled on the ground, April remained in her position, not moving a inch, then the sound of glass exploding stopped and the room fell silent again.
(Is it over?)
In what felt like hours she finally put her arms down slowly, she moaned in pain that just got worse by her actions.
Looking over her arms, April was surprised to see no glass or cuts on them, yet the pain was still there, slowly feeling her arms she could only feel her skin.
Uncertain how this could be she shook her head, she had other things to worry about.
The once room full of mirrors was now no more then a room of frames with shattered glass of all shapes cast across the ground, April couldn’t tell the difference between the floor or glass anymore.
Of all the destruction, one thing stood, the mirror she feared, the mirror that gave out negative feelings that seemed stronger then ever, teasing her, making her feel horrible every second that passed by.
What was with this mirror, why does it still stand?
Memorized by the mirror a clicking sound came to her right that broke through her fascination of the tainted mirror.
(Where did that door come from?)
April watched this mysterious door just swing open, she swore it wasn’t there before and was definitely not the one she had come through.
Beyond the door she couldn’t tell what was on the other side, only that there was light illuminating from the door, welcoming, beckoning her to enter.
She wanted to go to it, leaving this room behind her, but the shattered glass covered the floor.
What was she to do, stay in the room of fragments of the past, of the sadness, of her fears, or does she brave the sharp pain and go towards the light?
Looking around, these were her mirrors she knew deep down, then the other mirror that was still standing could it be…
(So they are still shattered… have they ever been whole? And that one still stands is it waiting for me to finally give in… The others are gone, nothing more is left. Then what’s the point they will never mend, even if I dare to leave. What is the point…on continuing?)
April closed her eyes facing away from the door, she couldn’t, she can’t, she didn’t have the strength anymore.
She lost the war, it was time to finally admit it, she was alone again, there is no one anymore to help her, to save her from falling.
Sighing she gave up, waiting for the door to piss off and the darkness and despair of the last mirror to consume her and shatter like the rest.
Yet the door did not leave, she could still feel it behind her, ignoring it she sat down on the ground holding herself, waiting for it all to finally end.
Then she felt it, something slowly brushing against her cheek, then falling down towards her hands wrapping itself around one of her hands.
It didn’t tug or tighten, it was like it was holding her hand, looking at it she was surprised, it was a purple ribbon, no it was the same material as Donnie’s bandana and the exact same hue.
Uncertain why it was there or where it came from she felt it with her fingers, curiosity started to take over her as she wondered of its origins and the meaning it held.
Feeling it she followed it with her hand, as she did another came from the other side taking her other hand.
She could feel an attitude coming from the deep red bandana, with a smirk and free willed spirit, also a hidden sense of caring, its feelings were the ones she gets from Raph.
Two more joined the red wrapping around her hand, a brilliant orange, a laughter came from it, joy, a child like heart, the feelings of Mikey.
The last a deep blue, independent, trusting, someone she could always depend on, the feeling of Leo.
Looking at them the realization came to her as she noticed they were coming from behind, looking over her shoulders the bandanas continued on towards the door, disappearing within its light, they were trying to make her to reconsider taking that path instead.
Suddenly the purple tugged at her, not hard though, but more as an action to remind her it was best for her to finally leave, staring at it she pulled and it would not give.
Whatever it was truly attached to didn’t want to come in, leaving one option for her, to follow them.
Unable to figure anyway to the door without walking over the glass, she couldn’t see any other conclusion, with a big breath; she took the first step as the pain ricocheted up her body.
The purple bandana wrapped around her more as if trying to comfort her followed by the red helping her along.
Each step was worse then the last, yet she didn’t give up, by the time she made to the door she was covered in blood and the pain was overwhelming, but she didn’t care, for what was on the other side of the door was going to make it all better as she held the bandanas tighter to her heart.
They were there!
(I can’t give in, not now, for them, for me, for my new family.)
Light filled her, then she felt a slight chill as she opened her eyes, the room was a bit cold.
Shivering she sat up on the couch, she still was wrapped with layers of blankets, which didn’t help her chill.
Silence filled the lab, not a soul was insight except for Mikey, who in turn looked like he was shaking from the unexpected cold.
Mikey sat there fast asleep in the comfy chair that was beside the cot that Donnie was laying on.
Looking down at her hands, April could still feel the bandanas although they were not there.
(What a dream…)
April shook her head, uncertain its true meaning, yet deep inside she had an idea, her world was like those mirrors shattering in pieces one at a time until there was nothing left.
It’s been a rough two weeks since Raph left and things were drowning under the weight of the depression from Donnie’s condition.
What didn’t help was that Raph was out there; who the hell knows where, doing what, no one knew.
Leo was lost in his pride or was it his own fears, either way he refused to retrieve his brother, his way in dealing with everything was shutting both her and Mikey out, he even didn’t dare to enter the lab to see how Donnie was doing.
All he did was meditate, she understood it was how the elder brother looked for answers, yet he was so blind of the obvious answer in front of him…they had to stick together, they only had each other now…
April threw her head into her hands in frustration, she was tired of this, she couldn’t bare another day with Mikey with his eyes, they became so empty and hollow that she didn’t recognized him anymore, she feared he would be lost in them forever if nothing changed.
(What can I do?)
Looking over towards Donnie, his bandana laid beside him, with determined eyes she stared at it, she was the only one that can do something now.
Was that what the dream was implying, showing her the way out of this?
What did she have to lose, for as it stands everything is almost so far gone, that if nothing is done soon, the last mirror will shatter leaving a vile black room poisoned with regret, sadness and despair.
She couldn’t let that last mirror to fall victim to the situation, she had to bring light to that room and restore those mirrors, only she could…
No that’s not what the dream meant… it was about them working together, together they can do it, but first she had to make the stepping stones that everyone have forgotten about to achieve their goals.
Slowly she got up creeping towards Donnie, trying not to disturb Mikey, she wished not to wake him.
Living with ninjas they did teach her a few tricks, taking the bandana she needed it for what she was up too.
Mikey shifted, yet luckily didn’t awaken, carefully April tucked another blanket around him kissing him on the forehead, then put another blanket onto Donnie, “I promise when you do wake up Donnie, we will all be here, waiting for you,. So get better, wake up soon, don’t give up, for I am not so you can’t either…,” giving him a sweet kiss on the head she left the room, it was time to bring Raph home.